Class

It's a completely different world here as far as classes go.  Back in high school, missing one class meant missing the entire day; you either got up and went in or you didn't (I mean, you could go late or leave early, but c'mon...all or nothing, right?).  Here, I decided to sleep until 10:00 AM because I've been so stressed lately, which is when my first class started, and just didn't go to it.  No repercussions, just a few extra hours to free my mind.  I went to my class at 1:10...and got out at 1:32, no lie.  It should've gone 'til 2:25.  It blows my mind how this system works, how much freedom I have to do or not do.  I like it, but at the same time, it's terrifying.

Hiding

There's nowhere to hide here.  I just want to escape for a little while, but there really isn't anywhere to go where I can just get away from life without feeling guilty about it.  I have so much to do, and it's frustrating the hell out of me that I have to rely on other people who aren't coming through for so much of it.  I can't force people to be where I need them when I need them, nor can I always get them to do what I want when they finally show up.  I need something to rely on, and I haven't found it yet.  I'm drawing blanks on all of my ideas, and quite frankly, I don't feel like trying anymore.

Just a small look at what my day was like yesterday.

Counting the seconds

Time's weird.

In one respect, I'm happy about it.  I haven't been 100% substance-free in the past almost sixty hours at any given point, and it's been the greatest time I've had yet with wonderful people, parties, air hockey, festivals, midway rides, and trips.

In another, it sucks.  I need a minute of footage by two tomorrow...and I've got 58 seconds, no camera, and all of my people in various classes during my downtime.  Two fucking seconds.  I mean, really?!  It's so close that it's spitting on me.

I've also realized my life is about to become hell with business.  Video due Monday, proposal by Wednesday, exam tomorrow, shittons of reading, a drafting project, a Cornell box to do by fall break, lines to memorize, football to film, meetings to go to, and a life to somehow still live.

...Regardless of all of that, I believe I've stopped giving a shit and am therefore going to sleep.  This weekend has drained me in the best way possible and I need to recharge ASAP.  Also, Mary Jane was here and I am no longer functioning.

I had the time of my life...

Seriously, I've had a good weekend (and that song was just on in Meg's car).  Well, mostly good.  Last night started off kind of lame, bonfire by myself for a bit, and then I ran into Ave, Keith, Matt, and Aaron, and we all ended up chilling in Ave's room to pregame, right next to mine.  Went upstairs to Keith/Matt's, another shot, and then walked outside...only to find Emily and Holly and John, who came up for some water, Em got socks, and then we went out with a bowl by Gardens.  Got into Clarke, found Sarah and Zoey and Smirnoff, then took the bus downtown, where we found a party and Henry and the Booth crew.  Em and I went upstairs looking for a bathroom and found instead...AIR HOCKEY AND A KEG.  It was like motherfucking Christmas.  Needless to say, it became a drinking game quickly, and somehow Emily's friend came by to pick us up and drive us back.  This morning, I woke up to a call from Meg, TWLOHA founder/president here, because I missed my ride and she wanted to make sure I was okay...oops.  Still fucked up, I decided to pop an Aderall, took the bus downtown, and sat for five hours in the rain and wind to table...it was AWESOME.  No lie.  I had such a great time laughing and freezing and buying merch and doing henna on people.  My people didn't come down to see me, which was upsetting because I was banking on them being there, but whatever.  People flake a lot here.  I'm still buzzing around on the shit from earlier, so now it's time to get some feeling back into my body, do work, and chill with Ave until later.  WOO.

Also, dear self of tomorrow, when you read this and wonder...yep, you're cruising on minimal sleep, a long night, a pill and a few bites of pizza.  College, bro.